After all the wimps stopped crying at the reaping, Harper Hayes informed all of us tributes that we were allowed to bring a “tribute token” to the Games for good luck. I immediately let out a loud chuckle. I didn’t need luck; I was going to destroy these pansies! However, Harper did mention how most tributes brought a special item with them, so I decided to do so as well. I had a hard time thinking of what I could bring. I stood there on the wooden stage, my mind racing. After some deep thought, I finally thought of a good luck charm: a rabbit’s foot. The only problem was that I didn’t actually have a rabbit’s foot, so I headed out to the forest.
Within minutes I had reached the wooded area of town. The forest was dead silent and soon, it wouldn’t be the only thing dead. I lurked through the bushes, tip-toeing as quietly as a mouse. Suddenly, a rabbit hopped happily across the grass. My eyes grew wide, as I was eager to pounce. I crept up behind the furry creature quite slowly. Then, the rabbit stopped right in its tracks. It had sensed that I was there…but it was too late. I leaped onto the ground and clenched the innocent rabbit with my bare hands. I won’t get too descriptive, but let’s just say there was a small puddle of red after I was done getting my rabbit’s foot. I stuck the stained and sticky foot in my back pocket and looked at my hands. They were covered with warm, fresh blood. It gave me a certain type of rush, and it made me even more excited for the Hunger Games. I couldn’t wait to make one of those weaklings feel the same type of pain.
That was…. intense! You described it very well.( Even though I wish you didn’t), and you used good adjectives to get your point across. Work on your attention getter, as it wasn’t that strong.
This was a very descriptive piece! I could imagine everything perfectly, even though sometimes I didn’t want to…. The only thing I would fix was the attention getter. It was very brief and started out very abruptly. Maybe instead of starting out so strong, you could have described the setting for a little first.
I really liked this, in a very weird kind of way. I liked how as the reader I could picture the thoughts that were going through your mind. I think to make this piece even better, you could add some more descriptive details. Not necessarily about the killing of things, but about your thoughts and actions that create your character.
I just read this for fun because everyone was talking about how creepy it was and…um…you did a good job with details, but that was really strange. Haha.